So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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