I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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