u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
