I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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