I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
