I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize