dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
