Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
