when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
