I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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