i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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