toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
