i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize