Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
