Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got inside last night via doggy door
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
