I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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