Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
