PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
