And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You can't special order awesome
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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