Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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