I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Buhtt sex?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
