I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
