what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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