I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
