In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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