Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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