I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
