I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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