Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
