someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
