Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
