I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
