i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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