I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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