Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
