You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
