If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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