I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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