So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize