All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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