I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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