Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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