Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
