Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
