There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
