I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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