I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
