I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
