is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
