Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
