sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
