why didn't you poke me back
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
