i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
