I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
