This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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