That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
