i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
