Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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