Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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