Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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