I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
