none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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