just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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