so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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