ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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