Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
