I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
